An Open Letter to Kelly Rowland

So, I love Kelly RowlandDilemma is possibly one of the greatest duets of our time.  Trust me, I double, triple and quadruple checked on the train this morning.

So what the fuck is this classy girl, who sang so passionately about only thinking about Nelly… even when she’s with her boo… doing on Bravo’s hot mess of a Project Runway rip off, The Fashion Show.  I mean WHAT THE FUCK.  I can’t think of the last time I saw such boot leg production and programming.

Kelly Rowland is all sorts of right and this fucking show is all sorts of WRONG.  I mean give it up Bravo… you lost, and this show is making you look like a loser.    Here’s some of the changes they’ve made:  There’s a mini challenge hosted by Harper’s Bazaar at the start of every show.  So far I haven’t even been able to pay attention to the challenge because my eyes are busy adjusting to the shitty lighting.  They also, so far, work in teams apprentice style, choosing a team captain who leads the team in showing a collection during the runway portion.  Big difference here is that there’s an audience, the catwalk is (SHOCKER) a triangle, and the models are busted as hell and mostly fat.  A designer from the winning team is picked as the ultimate winner and a designer from the losing team is picked as the ultimate loser.   When they are booted off the show the tag line Isaac Mizrahi uses is “buh-bye darling”.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  Just STOP.  And the team names?  They didn’t even get to pick them, they are based on the first challenge in which each team had to pick one essential item to design a collection around.  So they are called Team Bolero, Team Tube Skirt, and Team Harem Pants.  I mean.  NO.  This whole show is Team Retarded.

I don’t really even understand what Kelly is doing there.  Clearly she’s the Klum of the show but I’m unaware of what her connection to fashion is except for that she is damn fucking sexy and way classier then Beyonce (it will be interesting to see if Sasha Fierce makes an appearance on the show or if the whole “we support each other still” line is b.s.).  She also sports one of the best weaves in Hollywood.  But other then that, what is she doing there?

Dear Kelly,

Please quit this bitch before it quits you.

Love,

SHT

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1 Comment

Filed under Reality TV, This Frustrates Me

One response to “An Open Letter to Kelly Rowland

  1. Christine

    did you stick with the Fashion Show? God I hope so. Because……that guy who made stripper clothes, and that crazy guy who wore ponchos were awesome. I loved how Kelly robot talked and how Isaac never really listened to anything she said. I loved how she slightly changed the way she said “you are hanging by a thread” each week. that show was freakin awesome. watched it online while Henry did his five hour nursing sessions as a newborn. It was a serious life saver and I want it back. I’m’ currently watching the newest PR ripoff where they pair “design experts” with wannabees from other professions. It’s incredible. I think it may have gotten cancelled though…

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