So last night I decided it was finally time to watch this DVD I’d gotten on Netflix like a million years ago (Man On Wire = good, watch it). So I go in my room, get the DVD, and then in the living room proceed to putz around for a few before settling down to watch the movie. I bet from getting the movie from my bedroom to actually being ready to watch it, lets say 15 minutes passed… and when i went to put it in I COULDN’T FUCKING FIND THE DVD.
I mean I just lose shit. Not my sanity, or my mind or my marbles… but physical things, I lose them all the time and in all different ways. You could say, that I actually am a loser. So this morning while I was laying in bed, I started thinking about all the different kinds of losing I do and in an unsuccessful effort to fall back asleep, I categorized them.
First we have Everyday Losing. This is where items that I lose everyday are categorized. Everyday I lose my keys, my metrocard, my cell phone, and most certainly without a doubt forget where i’ve decided to keep my building security card for the day. The important thing about everyday losing though, is that its ramifications are minimal. My loved ones might find it annoying, but Everyday Losing usually results in me finding said item within say 1-2 minutes of announced loss.
When said item is not found, that’s when we have Serious Losing. Serious Losing is the permanent loss of something I use every day… like my office keys which I just had to get replaced recently. Other then the office keys Serious Losing has not taken place in over a year I’m proud to say.
Next we have Seasonal Losing, that’s pretty self explanitory. Every winter its a few scarves, a hat, and always one, JUST ONE glove. Every spring I lose my black hoodie when I take it off because I’m too hot (this can also be lost in the fall). In the summer time, I lose sunglasses… but those are okay because they usually only cost $10 from a street vendor. I’m sure if somebody buys me expensive sunglasses I will never lose them.
Then, we have the worst kind of losing… Mystery Losing. I hate to admit it but most Mystery Losing is a result of me putting things in what I like to call “a safe place”. However for me “safe places” are usually a random box, the corner of a drawer, the one place I’ve never put anything til now. So, I forget where the “safe place” is and then the item is Mysteriously Lost. However, sometimes Mystery Losing is NOT my fault. Currently I have Mysteriously Lost my favorite black tank top (you all know it, its my summer uniform) and a few months ago I Mysteriously Lost a bottle of vitamins. These I take no blame for. I think elves stole them.
And lastly, there is I’m a Fucking Moron Losing… which brings us full circle to the DVD, which was in the pocket of the hoodie I was wearing.